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The Bikefag’s Great Alternative Cycling Self Worth Reevaluation Crisis!

May 31, 2011

The biggest pond of American cycling has apparently proven too challenging a milieu for the fag to keep confidence in his routine. – The dude from Looking Good in Pants, explaining that he was removing my link.

My first thought was: “Fuck that guy! I’ve been busting my ass trying to find a job in a city with 10% unemployment , populated by a bunch of assholes with the exact same skills as me! (which I did)  And when I wasn’t looking for a job, I was writing for three publications, racing bikes, trying to negotiate my way through a racing scene where I didn’t know anyone, and checking out a brand new city that I vacillate between loving and hating on an hourly basis!  Have you ever moved before?!  Fuck you!”

My second thought was: “And what the fuck is a ‘milieu,’ anyway?!”

Finally, though, I admitted that he was right.  And that my new milieu (apparently it means one’s social environment) in Portland is indeed challenging.

Whether or not it’s “the biggest pond of American cycling,” Portland is undoubtedly a “big pond” compared to Fort Collins, CO.  And a much different social environment.  Isn’t that why I moved here to begin with?

Yes.  And there are some big, beautiful fish in this big’ ol pond.  That’s a good thing, right?

Yes and no.

For an egomaniac “alternative cyclist” like myself, not standing out in a crowd is challenging.

Spot the "ironic" one (I think this is actually Seattle, btw)

Being the new guy in “the scene” is difficult.

I’ve had to reevaluate my importance in the world of alternative cycling.

But I’m coming to understand that many of the people here are  transplants who, like me, came here from somewhere else, and probably underwent their own periods of uncertainty concerning their places in alternative cycling society (though I doubt they ever quite put it in those terms…).

“Am I cool enough for Team Ironclad?”

TBD, doggs (I actually already have a team).

Whether or not my “milieu” is “too challenging,” I’m gonna probably be laying back and peeping the scene for a minute.

Somebody by the name of “OliverMiller” commented a few months back: “I just have to wonder what this is gonna do to your writing, how this will warp your perception; snarkiness, I suspect, may well fall to the wayside.”

The guy was totally right.  Snarkiness takes confidence.  And now that I’m here, I’m a lot more worried about kissing ass and getting in with the right people than talking shit.

Things are changing fast.  And my own voice isn’t ringing quite as loud or true as it has in the past.  But I’ll settle in real nice, and have plenty of shit to make fun of in no time!

I do truly have a lot to learn from the people of Portland.  And I’m confident that my alternative cycling self worth will be positively appraised in short order.

Plus, it’s not like I’ve really been updating this blog very frequently this past year anyway.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. Fred permalink
    June 1, 2011 1:12 am

    http://www.wabdo.com/fred/tarck/umad.jpg

    (taken 1 hour after your first photo)

  2. June 1, 2011 10:10 am

    dude, this –

    racing bikes, trying to negotiate my way through a racing scene where I didn’t know anyone, and checking out a brand new city that I vacillate between loving and hating on an hourly basis! Have you ever moved before?! Fuck you!”

    hit the fucking spot.

  3. June 8, 2011 9:18 pm

    Don’t give another thought to Looking Good in Pants. From what I can tell from having clicked on the link you provided, his judgmental tone is fueled by deep-seeded insecurity. Now that you’re in town.

    His latest entry does however provide you with an easy target: micro brewed beer and its hangers on. It’s a subject that you’ve touched on before, and I sensed some malice lurking there. Coming back to NM from Berlin this week I’m reminded of how much I hate the shit out of all that riff-raff, that “sustainabilibro” nonsense, as you might describe it. Even if it is fodder for your criticism. Thankfully the Liquor Barn in Santa Fe relegates it to the far end of the glass-doored fridges, behind both the Mexicans and the conventional US brands. Please, launch some rockets for me.

    And please read my blog, I mean the one that I do together with a couple of friends. slab-mag.com. It’s the heuristic journal of gonzo blurbanism.

  4. jackseph permalink
    August 16, 2011 3:13 am

    I think it’s about time you posed again

  5. Mingus permalink
    August 19, 2011 8:16 am

    You can’t shirk your comical criticisms that easily. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from your blog, it’s to not suck lemons over someone taking irony more seriously than you. I know you’ve got something up your jersey sleeves, and this is just melodrama. Take the previous post’s clever typographical slip as a omen. It’s time to get posing in your new city.

Trackbacks

  1. Bikefag PDX: Finding Confidence in my Milieu! « Bikefag's Blog

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