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Ironic Cycling Fashion: eBay Guide

July 29, 2010

Let me start this post admitting that eBay isn’t the only place for ironic cycling fashion.  Ironic cycling fashion is all around us (assuming we live somewhere that rich, white people lived twenty years ago).  With a little luck and a lot of dillegence, an ironic cyclist can pull all kindsa hilarious shit out of thrift stores, swap meets, old peoples’ houses, Boulder CO, etc.

But no marketplace offers more ironic cycling fashion than eBay.

There is so much ironic cycling fashion on ebay.  The trouble, however, is finding it.

Like anything else on ebay, this problem is due to a combination of ebay listing problems and ebay searching problems.  And many of these problems aren’t anyone’s fault – they’re just the natural result of selling items that are so strange and unique that no one would think to search for them.  These items are what you want to find.

First, try searching “vintage cycling,” then narrowing your search by clicking “outdoor gear” in the categories on the left, then “cycling.”

then “clothing, shoes, and accessories.”  That ought to take you here.

After you’ve exhausted that category, back up to just “cycling,” then click the “vintage” category.  Once in vintage, erase “vintage cycling” from the search box, and try instead searching for specific articles of clothing like “jersey,” shorts,” “gloves,” etc.  Most of the stuff in the “vintage” category or “cycling” is overpriced and/or not ironic enough, but it’s worth a shot.

The other way to find vintage cycling gear is to search the “vintage” section of the “clothing” category (NOT in the “cycling” category, which is in “sporting goods”).  You can either just go straight to the “clothing” category, then into “vintage,” or you can get there by searching something into the main search like “vintage cycling shirt.”  Then click the “vintage” category in “clothing, shoes and accessories.”  Delete your search and search within the vintage category for “cycling,” getting you here.

That might yield some great stuff, but the real ironic gems are so ironic that sellers wouldn’t even think to list them as “vintage” yet.  Sometimes not even as “cycling.”  And certainly not as “ironic.”  So the trick is to find the stuff that is ironic, vintage, and cycling without any or all of those words in the listing.

There are many tricks:

Find shit you like, search for it specifically

Once you find something cool using the above “first step ironic cycling search” methods, you’ll need to get more specific.  Since the funniest things will probably not be listed as “vintage,” you’ll need to know what you’re looking for and search for it in ebay’s main search

I hesitate to tell you what I search for regularly, but some examples are “Coors Light Cycling” (if you find a size small jersey, please alert me), “Duegi,” “cycling skinsuit,” or “sidi genius 2.”

Find Specific Sellers

While searching with the above methods, you will run across ebay sellers whose shit is all awesome.  Two good sellers i’ve run across are Bikestory.18 and Convicts of the Road (maybe on hiatus right now?).

Sometimes, you’ll find vintage clothing sellers who happen to have a lot of cycling gear. View those sellers’ items, but type in “cycling” to search within their stuff (or risk finding ironic NON-cycling fashion!).

When All Else Fails, Look Through Everything

If you’re determined to find all ironic cycling fashion on ebay, you can always just search “cycling,” then go into the “cycling” category, then into “clothing.”  Sometimes I do this, then search “small.”  Unfortunately, this still yields 10,000 results, almost all of it total crap.  But hey, there’s gotta be something good in those 10,000 items, right?

Ok, now that we have the basic search methods figured out, let’s see how it applies to specific areas:

Ironic Kit

There is so much ironic kit on ebay.  But, again, the trouble is finding it.  You really need to know what you’re looking for.  “Vintage cycling team” is a pretty good search, but most ironic kit will not be listed as “vintage.”  Or “team.”  Or “kit.”  Try looking for specific kits like Acqua & Sapone (obvz we’re looking for the zebra stripes, but don’t search that), Coors Light Cycling, Panasonic Sportlife, Fagor, La Vie Claire, GiS.

One note: although 7-11 was popular at the time, AND the concept of 7-11 sponsoring a cycling team is ironic, the 7-11 kit is not acceptable as it is too “classic” looking.

With time, you will find many other ironic team kits.  Save these teams’ names and search them often (or create an alert).

Ironic Sunglasses

Unfortunately, the ship sailed on the lady in Evergreen, CO who was selling every color of the Macho Man Randy Savage Alpinas for 20 bucks.  But Alpinas are still available on the bay.  They’re just more expensive now.  And at a certain point, you might as well just cough up the extra scratch for a pair of Factory Pilots.

Anyway, you get the idea at this point: search “vintage sports glasses” or “vintage cycling glasses” even “vtg sports sunglasses.”  After you find stuff you like (after hours of trolling), figure out specific brands and models, then search them withOUT “vintage.”

The brands I know to search for are: “Briko,” “Vintage Rudy Project,” “Vaurnet,” “Quetee,” “Alpina sunglasses,” and “Vintage Bolle.”

I Could Go On

I could go on and on about what specifically to search for, but this is sort of your job now.  I’ve told you why to wear ironic cycling fashion, what to wear, and now how to get it.

I hope that you will join me in my unending quest to make the roads, trails, and races a more ridiculous-looking place.  I also hope that you drive up the prices of ironic cycling fashion so high that I can’t possibly afford to buy anything anymore because this ebay addiction is killing me!

Let’s end with some of the gems I’ve spotted recently:

FASTFASTFASTFASTFASTFASTFAST

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One Comment leave one →
  1. peterabbit permalink
    July 29, 2010 5:22 pm

    I have some size 41 black and green Sidi Genius 2’s you can have

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